are you kidding me

okay it has been about three weeks since i've been working on my better eating and healthy habits. i think i've been doing pretty good thus far. even if i want to eat something "bad" or not good for you food i eat in very small portions. it's actually not that difficult, the hard part i think is the temptations and you have to have the will power and you have to want it so bad that nothing can come between you and your weight loss goal. i let it slip away and look where it got me, back to square one well almost, but let's not try to get there, i want to go down not up in this situation anyway. so what's the big deal, i think my expectations at this point are way too high. i just want the weight to fall off and fast! i mean if my body isn't use to eating rabbit food shouldn't the weight just disappear. i guessed wrong. there has to be something else. maybe my body is just to use to my daily routines that i'm in cruise control. tell me it isn't so. does that mean i have to take up another exercise or join another workout group? argh! it's too cold to do anything outside, i have no money to join a gym (struggling college student who lives alone), and i really don't have the room to exercise in my condo. i know...i know those are some poor excuses, except for the no money part, right? i mean that's why i'm a class manager for jazzercise so i can at least get those classes in for free.

i think this is my body telling me something. so maybe i will save a few bucks, go to the thrift store and find some workout tape i can dance to at home. i may even find that awesome sweatin to the oldies with richard simmons...haha...but it will definitely be my little secret if i do. or i could just stop being a baby and brave the cold. if i start running i'll warm up anyway, right? so i'm just going to do it...i'll let ya know how that idea goes. well i'm a little pumped about this let see how far this pumpness goes. another problem is that my foot has been painful too so maybe i'll start off with the aerobics video first. this whole diet and exercise thing sucks!

and then there's the whole oprah thing where she's mad at herself for weighing 200lbs. that sends out a great message to all of us who are at or around 200lbs. so should we be mad at ourselves too. i don't think i'm mad at myself for gaining the weight because i know i got lazy so i should have done something about it earlier on when i gain 5 lbs instead i waited after i gain 40lbs...doh! i think i am more upset with myself for giving up and not trying. so oprah don't be mad, it could make things worst, just brush yourself off and do something about it.

cwak